Further Reading
Donna’s Story: An Open Letter to Caregivers
When Donna’s family first considered hospice for her father-in-law, they wondered if it was too soon. What followed changed the way they thought about hospice and showed them just how much hospice care can support the entire family. Donna shares her family’s experience with St. Croix Hospice and what she wants other caregivers to know.
“Oh, I don’t think his condition is so bad we need hospice!”
That was our initial reaction when a relative suggested we look into hospice care for my father-in-law. “Hospice” sounded so final, and we just couldn’t imagine that his health would deteriorate so quickly.
But choosing to start hospice care with St. Croix Hospice was the best decision we could have made.
At 6’4” and over 200 pounds, our beloved patriarch was a gentle giant. He had spent his career being that special kind of teacher who impacts his students deeply. Known for his storytelling and his love for everyone he met, he was truly a one-of-a-kind gem of a man.
Over the years, he had begun to slow down, progressing from a cane to a walker. That beautiful heart that had poured out so much love was kept beating by a pacemaker. A short hospital stay led to admission to a rehabilitation facility to regain mobility, but his decline continued.
We chose to care for him in the comfort of his own home.
We quickly realized we couldn’t do it alone.
That was when someone suggested hospice.
Try as we might, his size and lack of mobility made it increasingly difficult for us to provide the care he needed on our own. We called St. Croix Hospice, and almost immediately, we were taken aback by the response and level of support we received.
From that very first visit, our entire family — not just our father-in-law — was surrounded by caring, knowledgeable professionals.
They didn’t simply respond to what we needed in that moment. They helped us understand and prepare for what might come next.
Medical equipment began arriving at the house, along with medications and other supplies to help us care for him safely and comfortably at home.
But what I remember most was the people.
Every member of his hospice team cared for him with such compassion. Whether it was his nurse case managers, Marc and Jen, his aide helping with personal care or another member of the team, every call was answered and every question was addressed.
The respect they showed our father-in-law was wonderful.
We never felt like a visit was hurried. We never felt like our endless “What do we do now?” questions were a bother. Someone always made the time to listen, explain what was happening and help prepare us for what might come next.
The care felt so personal that we felt like we were the only family St. Croix Hospice was caring for.
And they weren’t only caring for him. They were caring for us.
Our family felt supported in a way we never could have anticipated. We had people to call. We had people helping us understand what was happening. And we had people helping carry some of the responsibility of caring for someone we loved.
What I would tell another family considering hospice
Our father-in-law was only on hospice care for about two months. Looking back, I’m so grateful we had that support during that time.
If your family is wondering whether it’s time for hospice, I understand the hesitation. We had it, too.
But based on our experience, my advice is simple: don’t be afraid to ask for that support.
Hospice didn’t mean that we stopped caring for our father-in-law. It gave us a team that came alongside us and helped us care for him.
Those final months were still ours to spend with someone we loved. With the right support around us, we were able to make that time as comfortable and meaningful as possible.
St. Croix Hospice gave our family more than excellent care for our father-in-law. They helped care for all of us.
And for that, we will always be grateful.
Caring for Someone You Love? You Don’t Have to Do It Alone.
Hospice care supports patients and the people caring for them. Learn more about how St. Croix Hospice can come alongside your family with expert care, guidance and support.
